Photo Friday – Lazing on a Winter Afternoon

Lazing on a Winter Afternoon

Old Year Resolutions

The New Year has become associated with new beginnings. We wipe the slate clean and give ourselves another chance. The New Year is the first day of the rest of our life. We write New Year’s Resolutions in order to take the positive with us into the New Year. Yet we often forget about leaving the negative behind.

In these last few days of 2011, think about what you do not want to take into 2012. Use these last few days to prepare yourself for a fresh start.

Here is a list of the things that I would like to do before 2012, in order to start the year with good energy and positivity:

Clean my home

Leaving behind: mess and dirt.

I would like my home to be tidy and clean for the New Year.

Bringing in: cleanliness, openness, light.

 

Sort out my papers

Leaving behind: mess, disorganisation and disorientation.

Paper is my weakness. Leaflets, flyers, receipts, notes, bills, lists….these are the things that stack up in all corners of my house. They create a mess in my home and a mess in my mind. I would like to sort these out, by throwing away anything I do not need and by putting the rest into folders.

Bringing in: organisation.

 

A new wardrobe

Leaving behind: the habit of hoarding clothes, settling for clothes that look less than great, and feeling guilty about buying new clothes.

I would like to sort out my wardrobe, in order to get rid of clothes that I no longer like or those that do not flatter me. This will give me space for new clothes and it will give me the opportunity to choose clothes that I love and those in which I feel good.

Bringing in: respect and love for self, confidence, beauty.

 

Friends Only

Leaving behind: unnecessary relationships

Letting go of: past ties that no longer serve me.

I would like to sort out my address book/contact list, leaving only close friends. I have telephone numbers, addresses and e-mails belonging to people who I have not contacted for years and who I am unlikely to contact in the near future. This contact information takes up space and energy in my mind, as I am always thinking about contacting the various people on my list. I would like to limit my contact list to only the people that are dear to me.

Bringing in: love, honesty, friendship, peace, time.

 

Give Plants Life

Leaving behind: dead energy, and the lack of care for living things.

In the past few months I have completely abandoned the plants on my balcony. There is not enough daylight or enough warmth for me to spend as much time as I used to taking care of my plants. My balcony is not looking its best, with empty pots and dead flowers. I would like to take care of the plants on my balcony, to prepare them for a year full of life.

Bringing in: responsibility, simplicity.

 

Inbox Clear-Out

Leaving behind: information overload, all unnecessary gadgets that make me lose time and energy, and the obsession of always having to be available for communication.

I have five email addresses. One for friends, one for work, one for subscriptions, one for official correspondence and one for my blog. Despite putting up filters and unsubscribing from every newsletter, I still receive junk mail. What’s worse, I have emails stored from years back and have to check all five email accounts regularly. My head is starting to explode from this overload of information and this waste of time.

I would like to create one email address that I use for all correspondence. I would like to sort out all of my old emails and start with a clean, fresh inbox.

Bringing in: simplicity, calm, peace.

To See It, You Gotta Believe It

When your whole being believes in and visualises a circumstance, an event or a state of living, the universe will materialise it.

At the start of the year, I wanted peace and calm; I wanted to clear my energy of any surrounding people; I wanted to discover my new life abroad from my own perspective, without the influence of others. Exhausted from the endless contact with acquaintances and strangers that I had in London, I needed a break; I needed to be alone.

For months, I was extremely happy being in just my own and my partner’s company. I didn’t try to get out and meet people, and no-one came into my life ‘by chance’. I cooked, I cycled, I went for walks, I took photos, I read, I made collages. I kept myself to myself and didn’t wish for anything else.

Since the beginning of September, however, my weeks have been filled with accidental meetings, new friends, old friends, unexpected invitations and spontaneous outings. At first, I couldn’t understand why, suddenly, after all this time, so many people were coming into my life. But then I realised – it is what I wanted. I was once more craving contact and communication, and this wasn’t just a fleeting thought; I knew that I had recharged my energy, reconnected with myself and found my own grounding. Now it was time to share all of this with others. I had sent out a genuine wish into the universe and got an answer.

When our wishes are just passing thoughts, the universe hears them as a whisper and can’t make out the message clearly enough to reply. When our whole being – mind, body and soul – truly believes in and is wishing for something, the universe hears loud and clear and materialises our thoughts. Sometimes its replies reach us fairly quickly, at other times, they can take months or years to get to us. But if we want to see it, we firstly have to believe it, no matter how long it may take.

Friends for Friendship, Not for Fear

For the past few weeks I have been surprisingly unsettled and it is only today that I found the most probable reason for this anxiety. Next week, three of my closest friends are coming to visit me in my new country, my new city and my new life. Amongst organising our long week-end, amongst looking forward to spending time with them and hearing their stories about the past four months, I am filled with fear.

What will they think of my new life? What will they think of the way I have changed? What will they think of my new views and my new reflections? What will they think of my new worries and my new problems?

I realised that my anxiety comes down to own fear: I am scared that my friends will not like my new life. Or, to put it straight, I am scared that my friends will not love the new me.

These are friends with whom I had my wildest days at university. These are the girls with whom I shared high heels and short dresses; they are the ones who curled my hair and did my make-up before a night out. With these girls I danced on tables and talked to too many strangers. These are the friends who would sit wide-eyed and open-mouthed while I told them about my week-end. These are the friends who are used to a girl whose every minute is filled with activity.

When they arrive next week, my friends will see a girl with barely any make-up on. They will hear a calm voice telling them about a life spent riding bikes, taking walks in parks, watching sunsets, picking wild flowers, going to local markets, taking photos of nature, writing in bed, reading on the balcony and imitating owls. They will find a girl that keeps to herself and is sometimes shy in social situations. They will find a girl that likes to share thoughts on life and death, friendship and love. They will find a girl that is the most confused, yet the most content she has ever been.

When I realised that the cause of my anxiety is a fear of rejection, I thought about how I could make the best of the week-end that I will spend with my friends, without letting insecurity ruin special moments. I immediately remembered a wonderful post I’d read about welcoming guests, and I realised that this is not a time for fear, but a time for love. These are precious days in which I can share my joy, laughter and positivity with people who mean the most to me. These are moments in which I should be giving and sharing, not taking. These are times when I am supposed to be being honest and open, and not trying to impress or entertain. This is an opportunity to show my friends how much they mean to me, and not to expect proof of friendship from them.

Fear will most certainly always reside in my heart, but the best thing I can do is to respond with love. So I’ll stop fretting about the broken tiles in my bathroom and the ugly chest of drawers in the living room. I will stop worrying about not knowing the best restaurants or liveliest bars. I will forget about learning the city inside out or getting the best deals for days out. Instead, I will simply do my best to welcome my friends with open arms and give them my open heart.

Counting the Blessings, Not the Events in My Life

I had heard that time flies, but no-one had told me that it soars. The past year has gone by with the blink of an eye. For me, it has had little form and even less structure. What have I done during the past twelve months? What has happened in the last 365 days? Looking back, the past year looks like a stretch of time marked by uncertainty, emptiness and waiting. Things have moved at a slower pace than ever before, and there are few events that have been caught on camera or written into a diary. However, when I think about the past year, I realise for the first time that it is not the quantity of memorable events that matters so much as their quality. This year has brought few notable events, but they have had a crucial role in the direction of my life’s path.

1) I graduated from university.

2) I went on a life-changing trip to India.

3) I completed a novel-writing course, which made me realise that, despite my fears, that I am capable.

4) I was offered my first ‘real’ job in a field that I love.

5) I moved to a different country.

6) I moved in with my boyfriend.

However, when I look back at the past year, these events feature only as a backdrop to that which happened on centre stage. In fact, it is my spiritual experiences and changes that played the main role during this period of time.

1) I got rid of 50% of my material possessions. In my new home, I live only with the things that I use regularly.

2) I deleted my social networking accounts. If they’re my real friends, I should be able to call them to find out about their lives. If I feel uncomfortable about picking up the phone to speak to them, I don’t need to be filling my mind with their lives. Seven months without Facebook, and I feel calmer, more confident and I know who my true friends are.

3) I took a risk. When I started job-hunting last autumn, I knew that I had two choices: I could either persevere and look for jobs in the field that I love –writing – or I could take the easier option of going into a better paid, more stable and more ‘prestigious’ career. Parents considered The City or the EU as a good destination for me, but I knew that if I didn’t take the chance to try my luck in writing, I would never again have the opportunity to do so. Three months later, I was offered a job as an online content editor.

4) I made a dream come true. Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of working in a cute little bookshop, where I would be able to pass on my love for literature to others. In the autumn, I was hired for a week-end shift at a new independent bookshop in my area. I only worked there for four months, but the experience was unforgettable. I was blessed with kind, knowledgeable and good-humoured colleagues, with friendly clients and with a brilliant stock of books to enjoy.

5) I chose love over fear.  What if I don’t like it? What if it doesn’t work out? What if he changes his mind? What if we get bored? A million doubts filling my mind before moving to a new country and moving in with my boyfriend. Four months after my move, this new life feels like second nature.

6) I was honest with myself. Young women my age are going to parties, filling their days with countless activities, following fashion, spending, seducing, networking…I tried, but never found fulfilment in any of these activities. I finally admitted to myself that I would prefer to spend Friday night watching the sunset from a hill, spend the afternoon riding a bike, spend evenings doing yoga, spend the week-ends doing photography, and spend my money on dance class, art exhibitions or fresh local food from the market. By being honest with myself, I have found a more natural way of life.

This year, I may not have had many events to talk about, but I have had many ideas and feelings to share. I think I am finally starting to learn how to count the blessings, and not the events in my life…