My Manicure Taught me a Lesson

When we’ve spent a lot of energy, time and money to make something happen, we are often reluctant to let it go, even when we realise that we are not happy in this new situation.

This evening, I decided to set aside some time to give myself a manicure. I lit a scented candle in the bedroom, put on my favourite relaxation music and set up everything I needed to pamper my nails. I was happy to be giving myself an opportunity to look after myself, and was looking forward to having beautiful nails at the end of the evening. I filed, buffered and polished my nails, and was feeling very relaxed and serene. However, when it came to applying the French-manicure polish given to me by a friend, even my aromatherapy candle couldn’t stop frustration boiling in my chest. I spent fourty minutes applying the nail polish, to realise at the end that there was a fault with the brushes – they were out of shape and were creating lumpy and striped paint. I was disappointed and angry; I expected pretty nails, but ended up having to remove all of the nail polish!

After the failure of the French-manicure set, I decided to paint my nails peach, with a polish I’d bought in the summer. While waiting for the polish to dry, I lay on the bed looking at my nails. “How ugly”, I thought, suddenly. To my surprise, I found the nail polish to be plain, bland and boring. It made my hands look short and stumpy, instead of being a subtle charming accessory.

“I’ve spent the whole evening trying to make my nails look pretty”, I thought. “It would defeat the point to take the polish off”. I turned my hands to look at them from different angles; I brought them closer to my eyes, then took them further away. I was trying to convince myself that they were fine, that they would do, that after all the time and effort that I spent, I couldn’t allow myself to be unhappy with them.

I stared at my nails, but felt embarrassed rather than pleased.

“Why keep it if it doesn’t serve me?”, I thought and jumped up to remove the nail polish. I felt a sort of relief at not having to put up with something that didn’t fulfil me. “It’s better to have nothing than to be unhappy with what I have”, I thought.

I didn’t end up with what I had originally wanted or expected at the beginning of the evening, but the lesson that I learnt was worth more than two perfectly manicured hands. I realised that there are things in other parts of my life that I am reluctant to let go of or to change. I spent energy, time and money to bring these things into my life and feel as if I should be happy and satisfied now that I have them. But isn’t life like nature? We all have our seasons; without autumn and winter there would be no spring and summer. Without abandonment and emptiness, there would be no rebirth and abundance.

This week, I will make a conscious effort to recognise the things to which I am holding on, yet which no longer serve me, fulfil me or bring me joy.

Believe Me, You’ll Like This Journey

I don’t want to. I’m tired.

You have to. At least twenty minutes.

I want to watch T.V. or draw.

When will you practise, then?

I don’t know. I don’t have any ideas.

Ideas don’t always fall from the sky. Ideas need time, patience and perseverance.

Maybe I’m on the wrong track.

You’re on the right track. You just need to keep at it.

It’s hard keeping at it on my own, with no one to guide me or help me. I feel stuck.

You’re not stuck; you’re scared. You need to take that first step, the hardest one.

Yes, I’m scared.

Of what?

Scared that I’m no good; scared that it won’t be how I imagine it to be; scared of sacrifice; scared of rejection; scared that I won’t have enough strength, determination, courage, hope, faith, patience, understanding, or love to make my dream come true.

Perhaps you need to look at your dream in a different way, to modify it slightly. Perhaps you are focusing on an aspect of your dream that doesn’t evoke positive emotions in you.

Well, I already feel guilty for trying to work on my dream. I feel selfish; I feel like I’m lucky or privileged, but in a bad way, because other people are unhappy and accepting things as they are.

Is that the only thing bringing up negative emotions in relation to your dream?

My dream is a creative project and creativity has never been taught, understood or considered as important in my family or my native country. It is only acceptable if the creator is perceived as talented or a genius. Otherwise, the respectable thing is to be productive.

So you feel ashamed of trying to realise your dream because a) other people aren’t doing so and are unhappy, and b) your family will disapprove of you ‘wasting your time’?

Yes.

Any other reasons for which you don’t want to give your dream a go?

I’m scared that my partner will be upset by the fact that I spend more time on my dream and less time on him.

If you start your days earlier, this won’t be the case.

I lack the will-power and desire to wake up earlier. I feel like it will make no difference, I feel like things will go on without me just the same.

You’re stuck in a bland routine. You need a new activity that will give you energy, drive and inspiration.

I’ll call about those volunteering positions tomorrow.

First thing?

At 10 am, when the offices open.

You need to realise that this is the opportunity you have been waiting for: a calm life, a flexible job and free time. With the plans you have for next year, this set-up isn’t going to last for long.

I’m just having difficulties in making that first step.

You have the idea, you have the desire, you have the time. You will also have support, love and understanding. Stop making excuses, stop putting it off.

As for ‘what others may think’, you learnt a difficult, but important, lesson about that several years ago. Are you going to let ‘others’ stop you in the pursuit of your dream, again?

You’re right. It’s like I’ve come full circle. I promised to myself that I wouldn’t let other people’s opinions make me abandon my dreams. Now I need to show that I truly meant it!

I think you don’t realise how much happiness fulfilling your dream will bring.

It’s never as hard as we think it is, right?

Exactly. It’s only the act of putting it off that makes it harder.

I have learnt that many times, including today.

I think I understand why I’m having trouble making the first step.

Why?

I want to make my dream come true for all the wrong reasons. I want approval, praise, attention, money, recognition, prestige and even revenge. I want to make my dream come true for what I will get from other people once the dream is realised.

But what I really need is to make my dream come true for myself; for the fun, for the pleasure…for the journey.

After all, it’s the journey that we remember, not the destination.

Please believe me when I say that you’ll like this journey.

I believe it. I know it. It will be a blast.

That’s the spirit! Still wanna watch T.V.?

Are you kidding? I’ve got a dream to realise!